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Non verbal cues (nvc) include eye contact, body language as you said but... they are not always used for compliance etc. Sometimes people don't know their boundaries and invade your zone of proximity. Imagine if you were doing it to her. How would it be perceived?! Anyhow it sounds like you want to prepare for the next meeting if there is one. So some suggestions are:
1. Adjust the seating arrangement so she cannot touch you
2. If she does then move back or brush your arm off. This will signal it is not okay.
3. Sit arm in arm or hand in hand with your wife. Or have your hand on your wife's knee. This might make it uncomfortable or awkward for her to touch you.
4. Lack of eye contact on your part will signal ambivalence or disagreement. A bit passive aggressive.
5. Assertiveness as mentioned above. Good advice.
The above means that she has less chance of being inappropriate or achieving her goal of compliance. Looking away when she talks or being distracted will get to her. It is a big F you as you can imagine. She might try raise her voice, touch you or use your name to get your attention.
Hope that helps.
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