[Llarry]

Washington D.C.'s newspaper the Washington Post publishes a humor contest every week on Sunday and when I lived in Maryland it was the #1 thing I would read. Here's one:

Rules: Take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter and supply a new definition. The winners:
-- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
-- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
-- Bozone: The layer surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
-- Foreploy: A misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
-- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-- Giraffiti: Vandalism sprayed very, very high.
-- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when running late.
-- Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
-- Karmageddon: Like, when everyone is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
-- Decafolong: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
-- Glibido: All talk and no action.
-- Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
-- Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidently walked through a spider web.
-- Catepallor: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
-- Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.