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Originally Posted by Fishee
Dealing with my dad, who is in... early-mid stages of dementia.
He's starting to become destructive around my parents' house, including last week accidentally setting fire to the living room sofa. The worst part is, he's incredibly defensive or dismissive of his actions as related to the damage caused by his behaviour.
I think the defensiveness is a result of some portion of the brain feeling shame and embarrassment, but it's unable to deal with the hard emotions of admitting that his hands-on fixing and building skills, something that he prided himself on, are no longer there. As a result, in many situations when people avoid hard emotions, they project defensiveness and anger, when truly they're dealing with sadness, worry and grief.
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I'm afraid you're in for a tough time. We ended up getting in-home care which was very expensive. Shelly was an angel, she took great care of Bill until we could get him into long term care. Good luck and peace.