Beast Mode

[Falafel Combo]

As I'm leaving work last night, I thought I would try the cold start trick someone posted a few days ago on a different thread.


1. Stage one start (engine not running)
2. Sport throttle setting (M1 in my case)
3. Tap the throttle to open exhaust valves (engine still not running)
4. Start engine (cold start)


Now, mind you, I work in an semi-urban setting so there are usually a few pedestrians within a few feet of my car at any given point (main street).

So I went ahead and tried out this new start sequence (cold start, sport throttle, valves open), and just as I always do, I blipped the throttle a couple of times just to hear some more of that intoxicating rumbly sound, which is especially soothing to the nerves, after a proper day of hard work and being trapped in an office building for 10 hours straight.

I slowly raise my gaze from the tachometer, and I very cautiously begin to back out of my parking space. I briefly look straight ahead of me, and I see what appears to be a baby deer in the headlights. A 12-14-ish year old, very innocent looking girl with a look of sheer terror on her face. She's staring back at me, totally blank. Empty eyes. She was directly in front of my car (but several feet away) and she was totally motionless! Like she saw a ghost!!! In a few seconds her dad caught up with her, and called her name as if to make sure everything was OK. She was frightened! The only thing she could think of was to slowly walk backwards away from my car and ran to her dad, sort of hiding behind him, taking shelter from this beastly MONSTER she heard growl for the first time in her life! Poor thing was shaking like a leaf.

Such an unforgettable moment!

The dad smiled at me, and waved me to proceed (his daughter still shaking behind his back). As I passed them I rolled down my window and politely asked "I'm so sorry sweetie, did my car scare you?". "Yes, it's too loud!", she responded with some hesitation and a broken-up voice. "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you" I replied.

But I was totally lying! In my head I was thinking THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!! My car makes little girls cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad smiled, and gave me a man-proval nod and half smile as if to assure me that he "gets it", and everything is cool ... but I could see his jaw muscles popping out of his face, and I could almost hear him grinding his teeth! I could feel a wave of heat coming from his direction, his blood boiling with jealousy!


Conclusion: Hide your kids, hide your wife.


Disclaimer: This story has been certified by the CSB society of north america. "Cool Story Bro" society is not responsible for the content of this ad, and does not endorse or condone reckless driving nor scaring pedestrians shitless while using their products. Please consult your doctor if symptoms of cool-ness or bro-ness persist. That ad paid for by the Loud Cars of America. Not available in all states. Must be 18 years or older to be a cool bro. Purchase not necessary. Void where prohibited. Please see your local BMW chapter for further details.



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[nbennettksu]

: with the disclaimer

[X2Board]

Mine just pisses off the neighbors, when I leave at 5 AM for the gym. My garage is a natural amplifier. The cold start does not last as long as it did in the winter though.

[Wah]

Thats hilarious.

[chaddeus]

Dude you made my morning with that encounter.

I didn't read ahead so i said to myself O shit this can't be good. Dads can get real sensitive about there daughters... But then the spin.... I like it.

[Atcdod]

Pretty much the best thread I've ever read!

[///M///]

Sorry didn't get that man But you sure have a good imagination

[Damasconian]

My low point with Falafel was when he thought about buying a Hellcat. Since then he's become a great poster to this forum.

I enjoy your posts and the tone of your writing.

[secretariat]

I haven't tried this yet, does it only work with manual transmission?

[FUTURE]

I just tried that yesterday night in a parking lot. Once I started the car, there were a few random people walking by and they just turned and looked. lol

[RowanBuds]

Originally Posted by Damasconian

My low point with Falafel was when he thought about buying a Hellcat. Since then he's become a great poster to this forum.

I enjoy your posts and the tone of your writing.

I never considered an HC, but a friend of mine has one coming in (in the low volume Blue) for delivery on 6/16. I may even get to experience the power it has on tap - crossing fingers for that.

Can't wait to get photos with that and my LMB together - what a juxtaposition.

Also another good friend is taking delivery of a Sepang Blue S3 today or tomorrow - the three blue cars in a month is quite random, but should photograph well together.

[AM4ZING]

Do you have an exhaust on the car?

Cold starts are insane with the M Performance exhaust... I wish it stayed that loud during the day lol

[Bluex]

lol, funny story

But did you *really* call this 14 year old girl "sweetie"?

Man, if I did that, i'd get the "creepy old man" look for sure. And I think that goes for any guy over the age of 25 calling a 14 year old "sweetie"....lol

Hilarious story though....lol

[Damasconian]

Originally Posted by RowanBuds

I never considered an HC, but a friend of mine has one coming in (in the low volume Blue) for delivery on 6/16. I may even get to experience the power it has on tap - crossing fingers for that.

Can't wait to get photos with that and my LMB together - what a juxtaposition.

Also another good friend is taking delivery of a Sepang Blue S3 today or tomorrow - the three blue cars in a month is quite random, but should photograph well together.

Oh I respect them a great deal but thought he was just trolling us at the time. I would never buy one, but am glad they exist.

[DandyKing]

Its extremely loud! i done it and its oh crap! there is lawn mower right next to my ear! In garages its fun to do since the damn thing echoes all over so someone knows they are safe and not alone hahaha

[E92LNGCGY]

Funny story and I actually had a similar experience. 2 young boys (around 5 yr old) were riding their bikes in front of my place and I started the car (with the valve mod) and one of them started crying.

[VDBimmer]

Originally Posted by E92LNGCGY

Funny story and I actually had a similar experience. 2 young boys (around 5 yr old) were riding the bikes in front of my place and I started the car (with the valve mod) and one of them started crying.

[YMB-M3-J2]

Originally Posted by X2Board

Mine just pisses off the neighbors, when I leave at 5 AM for the gym. My garage is a natural amplifier. The cold start does not last as long as it did in the winter though.

My neighbors also do not approve of my car's noise in the early AM. the garage is like putting a megaphone on each pipe.

[Racer20]

So, I tried this a couple times . . . it sounds just like a regular cold start to me. Is this supposed to let you mimic the cold start sound even when it's not a cold start or something?

[Naz24]

Hilarious! I cannot wait to get into my M after a long day of work. Unfortunately she's still in transit.

Really would have come in handy last night. Lets just say i literally worked from 8am until 6am the following morning...i guess thats what you get for working in private equity --- a drive in the M really would've helped me calm my nerves. No, instead I'm driving an F150 until then... lol

[OneRib]

Love the story. Would have been better if the girl gave you a

[rr006rbc]

LOL, this is exactly what I mean in a thread where I said I love terrifying small women and children with the exhaust note of my F80.

http://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sho...0&postcount=14