Confess here

As the male ages, his flexibility declines. As the female ages, her D's elongate. Put the two together and the elder male can still reach the nipple while impaling the elder female. Hence the saying "I want to grow old with you"

I drive barefoot and there are probably 5 pairs of heels in the car.

I just ate a bowl of canned Hormel chili.

Dinty More Beef stew is my favorite canned food (simulated)

Billup wrote

B is for beautiful. I'm a B or C cup man, personally. D's are too much.


A perfect handful, is the best handful.

NEFARIOUS wrote

+1. D's, no matter what kind of bra a girl wears, sags faster than smaller cup sizes, and I like 'em perky and happy (same goes for the owner of said breasteses), not looking like they're depressed and staring at the floor (also goes for the owner)



That's f**king brilliant... Sterling BMW?

I would have to agree.
D's are fun to play with, but natural D's sags without bra. Played around with A,B,C,D,DD, on my youth year, and B,C are the best. D's are my 2nd choice.

However, I cannot decide my distant 3rd. Fat girl's natural DD or anorexic A cup.

MrPrena wrote

I would have to agree.
D's are fun to play with, but natural D's sags without bra. Played around with A,B,C,D,DD, on my youth year, and B,C are the best. D's are my 2nd choice.

However, I cannot decide my distant 3rd. Fat girl's natural DD or anorexic A cup.

Anorexic a cup all day. Fat people gross me the fuck out.

I just changed my boss' ringtone to "An idiot is attempting to reach you on your cellular device."

http://www.zedge.net/ringtone/1509418/

Anorexic C for me plz

Nkc wrote

Anorexic C for me plz

That wasn't even on the list..., SIR

NEFARIOUS wrote

I just changed my boss' ringtone to "An idiot is attempting to reach you on your cellular device."

http://www.zedge.net/ringtone/1509418/

LOL - my dad's ringtone is a specific Dennis Leary tune...which I could not duplicate for my boss.

So my boss has Dolly Parton's "9 to 5". Mainly because I couldn't find a song that was 10 to 3. Make's me chuckle when he calls me at 4PM from out of the office.

I cheat with coupons. I have them sent to my work address and the same ones sent my home address.

That shit adds up! $20 off a case of formula instead of $10 is so worth it!

ShopVac wrote

LOL - my dad's ringtone is a specific Dennis Leary tune...which I could not duplicate for my boss.

So my boss has Dolly Parton's "9 to 5". Mainly because I couldn't find a song that was 10 to 3. Make's me chuckle when he calls me at 4PM from out of the office.

The Asshole song? J/K I've a huge Leary fan since the days of No Cure for Cancer, and he does great with Rescue Me, especially since one of my good friend is actually a firefighter.

Sara504 wrote

I was wearing a D and that was too small. Now that I'm 40 lbs lighter and not breast feeding anymore its down to a B

You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.

BayMoWe335 wrote

You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.

damn

NEFARIOUS wrote

My friend's wife got a new phone and wanted me to help her set it up. I found emails with nudes sent to random guys and told him. We're still friends (although we have to hang out away from his wife) and he's so grateful that I exposed her that he even has me in his will, but I still feel bad for the impending divorce and the fate of their 6 year old daughter.

do you mind if i ask, why were you going through her emails? seems unethical and a violation of trust. not trying to offend, i'm just curious.

MrPrena wrote

Try mine.

1. I called regulatory agencies on my former companies before. They still don't know who did it.

2. I "legally" shorted one of the company I use to work with.

3. I secretly acted (legally and ethically) so that this small company will have a huge financial problem, and try to buy the company from general partners and the president. 4 years later, i sent them a proposal and they called me. It went down south so quick that I ended up give up on acquiring it.

Gosh, i am so evil...

remind me to never go into any business ventures with you.

BayMoWe335 wrote

You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.

They look fine!!

.... I stole the cookies from the cookie jar. I confess.

Sara504 wrote

They look fine!!

This post is useless without..

Oh nevermind

upstatedoc wrote

This post is useless without..

Oh nevermind

Did your mother raise you to treat women on the internet like that? HMMM? DID SHE?

gtron wrote

do you mind if i ask, why were you going through her emails? seems unethical and a violation of trust. not trying to offend, i'm just curious.

TLDR: Teaching her how to use new phone, saw message from adulterer, husband broke into account himself.

EXPANDED: She was transitioning from a no-name smartphone which didn't even have sync turned on to the Galaxy S3 (this was 2012), so she learned through me that she had push email... Then while demonstrating that feature, I accidentally opened an email from her adulterer and managed to catch a blurb about wanting her to sit on his face (glad I learned speed reading), but then she panicked and snatched the phone from me, then gave me a BS excuse. Since I heard somewhere it was taboo to tell someone that it someone is being cheated on, I just left it alone.

However, just as guilty conscience was starting to set in at the end of the week... Her husband, who is a firefighter, had to go on a rough call where a little child was covered in 3rd degree burns and invited me to the bar with him to drown it out, so after a few rounds he suddenly slurs out, "Ed, y'know another thing? I think [his wife's name] is fuckin' cheating on me, bro. I'm not sure, but I just have a gut feeling [telling me signs and observations]." Then while I was a bit buzzed too, I leaked out the aforementioned email, then the next morning he managed to figure out her password and we saw that she was sending nudes and messages to 6 guys for 2 years.