The joke thread, pics are not necessary

I went to a place to eat. It said "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Esteban wrote

I went to a place to eat. It said "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I may have gone to the same place. A sign stated:

“Open 24 hours, but not in a row”

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

My family was excited to attend a World Cup game. But then they realized that it was just soccer.

Rodney Dangerfield
Dr. Vinnie Boombatz
"What a doctor I've got—he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then he hit me in the balls with a hammer!"

It's really quiet in my head today. It feels like I'm up to something that I don't want to know about...

Such is life ....

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Guest kid: “Jeepers Mr. Wizard, if wasn’t for the wheel,
my dad would have to drag his car to work.”

Word of the day:

Sorry, not sorry.

Two cannibals are watching a show at the circus.

1st cannibal: “I don’t like clowns.”

2nd cannibal: “Me neither. They taste funny.”

3.0L wrote

Two cannibals are watching a show at the circus.

1st cannibal: “I don’t like clowns.”

2nd cannibal: “Me neither. They taste funny.”

Reminds me of the cannibal who passed a missionary in the jungle.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Here is my contribution from what memory recalls of an Elementary grade level joke book.

I believe I was in 5th grade.

A fly and a flea in a flu
Were imprisoned so what could they do?
Said the fly let us flee...let us flee said the fly
So they both went and flew away

Nowimeasy wrote

Sorry, not sorry.

No need to apologize. Now if you'd X'ed out the second letter in that model name too.....

Jodedor wrote

Here is my contribution from what memory recalls of an Elementary grade level joke book.

I believe I was in 5th grade.

A fly and a flea in a flu
Were imprisoned so what could they do?
Said the fly let us flee...let us flee said the fly
So they both went and flew away

I think it's supposed to go like this:

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

You were close, though.

PS - I looked it up.

Nice

Esteban wrote

I think it's supposed to go like this:

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

You were close, though.

PS - I looked it up.

LOL...

I was relying on a memorization from 47 years ago...my RAM has had a memory leak

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name.

For the first time ever I bought a sweet car online.
Amazingly it was owned by Neil Diamond!