Recommendations for a trip with mom

Mom is 94 and very well traveled. My wife and I would like to take her on a trip, my sister and her husband might join. Looking for thoughts and recommendations…

She is mobile (does stairs several times daily) but “wobbly” to use her word, and gets tired easily. Shuffles more than walks. Always cold, keeps her house at a comfortable 80F+.

We have been discussing an Alaska cruise next year, but my sister is a flight attendant and just did an AK route. Said there were lots of walkers and wheelchairs, people coughing and one coughing up some blood. Also two flights which is that much more difficult for mom. Got concerned that it would be too much risk for mom.

So, looking at alternatives. Suggested Yellowstone but we can’t find any short tours (mom would prefer 2 hours, 4 max). Mom mentioned Mesa Verde and I asked if the altitude would bother her. She said she’d been there years ago (probably 60+ years ago) and it didn’t bother her, also live in Denver in 1960 so… (mom logic).

She lives in SoCal, we can meet her anywhere and my sister can fly with her. So pretty much anywhere in the USA is good.

She has been to Yosemite many times, so that’s out. Also prefers not to go to a big city - wants to see more nature than buildings (and has been to most cities many times).

We will either drive or rent something roomy to drive her around in.

Anyone got some ideas?

TIA - 2000CS

You are a good son. My father is 94 and I would not take him anywhere that is more than a 2 hour drive from home.

Fly business or first class, keep the flight to 6 hours or less, have airport transfers arranged, consider arranging for a wheel chair in the airport, assess whether you also need one from the gate onto the plane, pay porters to handle bags, stay in higher end full service hotels and book rooms that are on the first floor and preferably handicap accessible, rent a comfortable car that is easy to get in and out of (running boards if SUV), do not over schedule the tourist activities, plan for a lunch stop, etc.

My wife and I just took her parents, who are both on dialysis, to the Bahamas, about a 3.5 hour flight but with travel to the airport, waiting in the airport and travel from the airport to the Airbnb, it was about 9 hours for to door and that was a very long day for them. They are only 80, but cannot walk very far so we used wheelchairs in the airport and brought one foldable one with us in case it was needed while sightseeing. It was needed. I think that is their last international trip.

If she hasn't already done it, Highway 1 and the redwoods are close, and very worthwhile. Lots of first rate accommodations in the Monterey area too.

Maynard wrote

If she hasn't already done it, Highway 1 and the redwoods are close, and very worthwhile. Lots of first rate accommodations in the Monterey area too.

I love that drive. She has done it, but I think the seat time might be too much for her. Better to go to a place and take short trips from there (half-day or less), which is how Yellowstone came up. And, selfishly, I don’t want to spend hours in a car with the heat cranked up in summer!

Since I am dealing with a bunch aging parents and helped care for my 99yo grandmother,
I need to ask.

Does your Mom actually want to take a trip or are you suggesting it?

I have found that older people don't really enjoy travel like they might have even a few years ago. The stress of even simple road trips just is kind of overwhelming.

As heartbreaking as it is, maybe just a simple day drive or similar to start and see how that goes.

I saw my 70yo father get agitated with his 90 mother on why she didn't want to take a road trip "while she could...", I believe at a certain point the risk isn't worth the reward in their mind.

Obviously every person and situation is different, best of luck!!

2000cs wrote

Mom is 94 and very well traveled. My wife and I would like to take her on a trip, my sister and her husband might join. Looking for thoughts and recommendations…

She is mobile (does stairs several times daily) but “wobbly” to use her word, and gets tired easily. Shuffles more than walks. Always cold, keeps her house at a comfortable 80F+.

We have been discussing an Alaska cruise next year, but my sister is a flight attendant and just did an AK route. Said there were lots of walkers and wheelchairs, people coughing and one coughing up some blood. Also two flights which is that much more difficult for mom. Got concerned that it would be too much risk for mom.

So, looking at alternatives. Suggested Yellowstone but we can’t find any short tours (mom would prefer 2 hours, 4 max). Mom mentioned Mesa Verde and I asked if the altitude would bother her. She said she’d been there years ago (probably 60+ years ago) and it didn’t bother her, also live in Denver in 1960 so… (mom logic).

She lives in SoCal, we can meet her anywhere and my sister can fly with her. So pretty much anywhere in the USA is good.

She has been to Yosemite many times, so that’s out. Also prefers not to go to a big city - wants to see more nature than buildings (and has been to most cities many times).

We will either drive or rent something roomy to drive her around in.

Anyone got some ideas?

TIA - 2000CS

First, pat yourself on the back for being an amazing son. Good for you.

I have two ideas:

1) Take her on a cruise. My mom cruised into her late 80s and loved it. It sounds like your mom is in better shape healthwise than my mom. We like Princess but there are many other cruise lines at different price points. Pick one that caters to an older crowd. Once you are on board, getting around is a breeze.

2) Fly in to Vegas and spend a night or two at the Bellagio. See a show with your mom. Rent a car. Drive to Utah and see the 5 national parks there. Much of it you can see from your vehicle. All the parks have short, flat walks that would be perfect for your mom. There are lots of motel and hotel choices around all the parks, many with excellent facilities for mobility challenged and elderly travelers. Finish in Salt Lake City. Fly home from Salt Lake.

TriumphTim wrote

Since I am dealing with a bunch aging parents and helped care for my 99yo grandmother,
I need to ask.

Does your Mom actually want to take a trip or are you suggesting it?

I have found that older people don't really enjoy travel like they might have even a few years ago. The stress of even simple road trips just is kind of overwhelming.

As heartbreaking as it is, maybe just a simple day drive or similar to start and see how that goes.

I saw my 70yo father get agitated with his 90 mother on why she didn't want to take a road trip "while she could...", I believe at a certain point the risk isn't worth the reward in their mind.

Obviously every person and situation is different, best of luck!!

Good point. If doing an expensive trip like a cruise, or even for flights and hotels, consider paying extra for refundability options and trip insurance. My parents booked a jcruise when they were around 80 and then my father decided not to go after some bad news from a doctor. They could not get much of a refund so they asked their kids to go instead. My brother and sister and no interest in an old person cruise. To avoid disappointing my parents, I went with my wife and we were by far the youngest of the 200 passengers.

Three times we have booked week long vacations at a place my father went for many years and loved and that is 5 hours door to door (short flight). Each time he has canceled at the last minute. Maybe health, maybe anxiety, maybe reality that travel will be too hard. Fortunately my sister’s family and friends love the place so they go instead.

Consider the North Shore of Lake Superior (MN) or Columbia River Gorge (OR/WA). Short 2–3 hour scenic drives, mild summer temps (she can stay in the car with heat), paved accessible viewpoints, low altitude, and way less crowded than Yellowstone. Base in one town and do loops. Bring a portable heater for her room and consider a transport chair to save her energy.

94 is pretty old. They tire very quickly, and "wobbly" concerns me, especially in unfamiliar places. Does she enjoy sailing? Maybe a short sail off the coast may be fun, or to Catalina (I don't know where in SoCal she is) perhaps?

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions so far!

To answer several comments:

She has traveled a lot, including (this year), SNA to Austin, SNA to SFO (at least twice). She does want to go on “one last trip”, which we want to treat her to, and had the AK cruise as the one to do. She has done other cruises and strongly prefers small boats. The issues are mobility getting on and off the ships (some are easy others are treacherous), multiple hops on the airline, and exposure to illness on airlines. As a result I’m leaning toward SEA (or Vancouver, B.C.) and a round-trip inland passage cruise, instead of Anchorage. Maybe Juneau?

Although “wobbly”, she still walks several blocks to get her hair done each week or so (God knows why). Regularly up and down stairs at home and convinced that is why she is still kicking. She definitely tires easily but rallies to see family or friends (always been very social, extrovert).

She has no desire to go back to NYC, Vegas or any other major city (not fear, just done them). Might be interested in Charleston or Savannah - she has never been to either.

Santa Fe would be a good option if it was more walkable for her. She’d like the opera there as well as the art, but again the walking might be a bit much. Why she thinks she could do Mesa Verde is beyond me. My wife and I have been to both recently so could easily escort her if that is her preference.

Charleston is a great city, lots of charm, walkable for those who can get around well. Carriage rides are a great way to see the city, or you could get a private tour to suit her needs. It's very hot and humid there, so she should love that!

I've lived in the South for a long time, and am not impressed with the low country "cuisine". That said, there are still many good food options. Also plantation tours, sailboat rides, tour the remnants (rubble mostly) of Fort Sumter. Or patriots point, for a WWII sub and aircraft tour... The Citadel. Lots.

And Savannah is about 90 minutes drive away, perfect for a day trip.

The only downside is that you'll likely have to change planes to get there, small airports.

https://canadiantrainvacations.com/explore/tours-for-seniors

Something like a train trip sounds like it'd tick all the boxes. Some of the most scenic views you can access, easy mobility, etc, etc .
The US Amtrak tours are cheaper but odds are she's seen much of what they go by.

I want to do the amtrak builder line in the next couple years.


You'll have to read up on them. I know the amtrak ones you can get off and spend time in places then get back on one of the next trains. You're not stuck on their schedule.

You mentioned Yellowstone and short tours. Not sure what you mean exactly.

We have been to Yellowstone and Grand Teton several times, once with older folks (not 94 though) and it was great. One of my favorite places in the country. We just fly into Jackson Hole and get a place there for exploring Grand Teton and then someplace closer to Yellowstone like West Yellowstone for exploring that park. We rent a car (in our case 2 SUV for all of us) and just go at our own pace. Some of the old folks don't like to get out of the car and just enjoy watching everything from inside, some like to get out and walk around at the various lookouts. We obviously didn't go only any crazy hikes or anything with them, but many of the areas have pretty good accessibility.

iminhell1 wrote

https://canadiantrainvacations.com/explore/tours-for-seniors

Something like a train trip sounds like it'd tick all the boxes. Some of the most scenic views you can access, easy mobility, etc, etc .
The US Amtrak tours are cheaper but odds are she's seen much of what they go by.

I want to do the amtrak builder line in the next couple years.


You'll have to read up on them. I know the amtrak ones you can get off and spend time in places then get back on one of the next trains. You're not stuck on their schedule.

Great suggestion; my wife likes it, too.

dreamingat30fps wrote

You mentioned Yellowstone and short tours. Not sure what you mean exactly.

We have been to Yellowstone and Grand Teton several times, once with older folks (not 94 though) and it was great. One of my favorite places in the country. We just fly into Jackson Hole and get a place there for exploring Grand Teton and then someplace closer to Yellowstone like West Yellowstone for exploring that park. We rent a car (in our case 2 SUV for all of us) and just go at our own pace. Some of the old folks don't like to get out of the car and just enjoy watching everything from inside, some like to get out and walk around at the various lookouts. We obviously didn't go only any crazy hikes or anything with them, but many of the areas have pretty good accessibility.

We spent a day or two looking on line at tours of Yellowstone, and most were full day, only a few were 4 hours. Would really prefer to do a 2 hour “orientation” tour and then drive at our own pace. Mom likes tours; I’m not a big fan but this is for her. One idea we had was to get there a day before she arrives and take the full-day tour, then act as tour guides for her on short outings (and also have a good idea where to go to suit her interests).

Las Vegas

2000cs wrote

We spent a day or two looking on line at tours of Yellowstone, and most were full day, only a few were 4 hours. Would really prefer to do a 2 hour “orientation” tour and then drive at our own pace. Mom likes tours; I’m not a big fan but this is for her. One idea we had was to get there a day before she arrives and take the full-day tour, then act as tour guides for her on short outings (and also have a good idea where to go to suit her interests).

I'm not a tour fan myself. I like to do things at my own pace and go see the things I want to see and not things I don't. That being said a 2 hour tour in Yellowstone is probably tough. It's a big park so there's a lot of time spent just driving from point to point. One thing we like to do is watch videos about a place before we go. That way we already know some of the history and things we really want to see etc. Also I wonder if you could just hire a local guide instead of going on a tour.